Going Rogue: Balancing Work, Kids, and Sanity

Going Rogue: Balancing Work, Kids, and Sanity

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Are you constantly balancing work, family, and personal time, feeling like there's never enough of you to go around? Welcome to Episode 14 of the C-Suite Chicks Podcast where Ashlie and Whitney dive into the real-life challenges of being working moms, sharing their struggles, victories, and everything in between. This episode is a candid look at the daily chaos many moms face, especially at the start of the school year when the pressure of new schedules, teacher communication, and extracurricular activities pile up.

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The episode kicks off with Ashlie sharing her experience with the back-to-school madness, as her kids start a new school year. With one child in third grade and another in kindergarten, she’s navigating the complexities of different teachers, apps, and communication styles. The conversation soon turns to the idea of becoming a room mom—a role that sounds enticing but comes with its own set of challenges. For working moms, it’s a tough decision: is the added responsibility worth the potential benefits?

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As the discussion unfolds, Whitney and Ashlie explore the balancing act of work, personal commitments, and family life. Ashlie contemplates whether taking on more responsibilities, like being a room mom, would simplify or complicate her life further. The conversation is a reflection of the internal struggle many moms face when deciding how to allocate their limited time and energy.

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The episode also touches on the importance of self-care. Whitney shares how prioritizing her health and fitness has helped her maintain mental clarity and manage her busy schedule. Ashlie, on the other hand, talks about how dietary changes have positively impacted her focus and energy levels. Both women highlight the importance of finding a routine that works for you, whether it’s working out in the morning or evening, or sticking to a particular diet that fuels your body and mind.

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A significant theme throughout the episode is the concept of living in the in-between—learning to accept the things you can’t control and focusing on what you can. The hosts discuss how writing things down, whether it’s a to-do list or venting frustrations in an unsent email, can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and staying organized.

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As the episode wraps up, Ashlie and Whitney encourage listeners to share their own strategies for managing the chaos of working mom life. They remind us that while it might seem like some people have it all together, everyone is juggling behind the scenes. This episode is a reminder that it’s okay to not have all the answers, and sometimes, just getting through the day is enough.

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Tune in to Episode 14 of The C-Suite Chicks Podcast to hear more about how these two working moms are finding their way through the chaos, one day at a time.

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Ashlie Marshall (00:00):

But spinning your brain power on those things and letting it consume your thought process or consume your emotions at the time, it's not effective. You can't get anything else done because you're focusing on something that you can't actually do anything about. Hey, Y'all, C-Suite Chicks. How's it going? Hello guys. We're going to go rogue today. We are going to chat about a few things that have maybe somewhat to do with work, but not really, and we want to hear from you because we know we're not alone in this. We know we're not the only ones going through these types of changes and shifts and stresses, but at the moment that we are recording this episode, it is for me and my children, it's the first week of school and good grief. What grades

Whitney Ramirez (01:08):

And what do you think of their teachers?

Ashlie Marshall (01:09):

I have a son who is, yeah, I have a son who's going into third grade. He started third grade and I have a daughter who started kindergarten now. Both my kids did preschool, so I was accustomed, but it's a part-time, right? It's like Mother's Day out two days a week, three days a week. Dominic obviously has been in school, but it is way different having one kid in full-time school than having two and having multiple. Are they at the same school? They are this year. This is the first year that they are going to get to be in the same school,

(01:45):

And that is one thing that shifted from last year to this year that was better for my time because I don't have to spend so much time in the car to get to preschool. So I gained some time there. But guys, tell me your experience with the teacher communication. And I've got two kids, two classes. Dominic has two teachers, both of which communicate differently than each other. And then my daughter's kindergarten teacher communicates differently than them and I have to have different apps and different platforms, and I'm like, okay, I never would've considered this before, but now I'm like, should I be the room mom so that I can talk to the teacher just through text message? Is it worth it? Do I have time for that? Do I have the mental capacity? Then

Whitney Ramirez (02:38):

You're taking on a whole bunch of other kids

Ashlie Marshall (02:42):

Too. There's a thing. What are the requirements for being

Whitney Ramirez (02:46):

Yeah, room mom. Well, what is a room mom? I've never heard of that.

Ashlie Marshall (02:51):

Oh, okay. So this is what I read yesterday, and this has been my experience. Room moms are typically the mom who does the mass communicating for anything non-academic related. So there's a party for Christmas. She coordinates the party, she gets the people to volunteer to bring the stuff, she collects money to get the teacher gifts. She does things like that. She keeps the social part, the event, part of the calendar off the teacher's plate, and she coordinates between the teacher and the rest of the, I want to do that. I would love that. So see, okay, let's be honest. I would love doing that. I would be like, yes, I want to do that. I can totally handle that. I would keep it so organized. But I also have a full-time job and I don't have an hour to spare in my day to spend on coordinating other parents between the parents and the teachers. Now, it might not be an hour day.

Whitney Ramirez (03:58):

I would do it all at

Ashlie Marshall (03:59):

Night. Well, recently with school starting, I've been doing some work at night. I've been having to,

Whitney Ramirez (04:05):

Yeah,

Ashlie Marshall (04:06):

Well,

Whitney Ramirez (04:06):

Yeah,

Ashlie Marshall (04:07):

You do. I feel like it would be a sacrifice I would set up myself to make, because in a way it would be more work, but in a way it would simplify other things. And so I'm like, maybe it's

Whitney Ramirez (04:21):

Worth it.

Ashlie Marshall (04:21):

I don't know. I want to hear from the other moms. If you're a mom and you work and you're listening to this and you have thought these things, please give us your input. I want to know your input. Leave us a review. Tell us what you said, how you handle it. I want to know.

Whitney Ramirez (04:35):

I do. I want to see all the Pinterest boards they have of the events and stuff.

Ashlie Marshall (04:40):

I mean, if you start diving down that rabbit hole, you can make it so fun and cute and the kids would really enjoy

Whitney Ramirez (04:47):

It. Yes. Be like their core memories you're creating.

Ashlie Marshall (04:52):

Yes, and up until this point in my life, I have just been like, I don't have the capacity. I can't do it. We've talked about this. My son's in soccer, my daughter does competitive cheer, and I came from competitive cheer background. I did it in high school, I coached it. But being a parent in it is a completely different experience, and I would love to do all the extra little things that would make joy in my life, but I also have to pay my bills in order to do that. I actually need to get my job done effectively, and I like my job and I spending time on my job. So it's like how do you balance all those things? How do you navigate that and decide what to and when to shift what you're spending time on? I don't know. I have no idea. How do you do it, Whitney?

Whitney Ramirez (05:52):

I dunno. I feel like I just have a very set schedule and I wake up early and I go to bed very late, and so I also have been much more prioritizing myself and my health and everything a lot more. And so I don't know. I feel like it helps with everything, mental clarity and then I feel better, and so I don't need as much sleep and I can do everything I want to do in a day.

Ashlie Marshall (06:24):

So that's super interesting because as of late, I've been doing very restrictive in terms of dieting, not to lose weight, but for specific anti-inflammatory autoimmune situation. And I have noticed more clarity in my thoughts and in my memory, which I haven't had in a while, probably since Dominic was born. So we're talking eight years and it feels good, and I almost am. I think that's why I even initiated the conversation with my husband about being room mom because it was like, well,

Whitney Ramirez (07:03):

You feel up to it.

Ashlie Marshall (07:05):

But then I'm like, okay, so what happens in six weeks when I start reintroducing non restrictive things and then I have a setback and then I'm in a puddle up to my eyeballs and I don't know how to get out of it. So it led me, this was where the conversation went with my husband. It was like it led me to maybe this year's not the year, maybe it's next year,

Whitney Ramirez (07:30):

And it's like the school year is set up, so it's like the end of the year is almost here anyways, so

Ashlie Marshall (07:38):

Yeah, it's true. It's true. But I would definitely be curious to hear from other working moms because I know there are some working moms that seem to have all of it together and seem to have everything going and floating along seamlessly, but I know better. I know that there's stuff going on in the background that we don't see, and so I'm curious how other people manage it, juggle it. And I also understand that I have a more flexible schedule in terms of our work than a lot of working moms don't have, which makes me even more curious to know how they fit it all in. Maybe it's just a level of acceptance that you can't fit it all in and you just pick and choose priorities.

Whitney Ramirez (08:22):

You do. I literally ate a gas station to keto and a frozen cauliflower bowl. That's all I ate. That's all I ate yesterday. And it's like Whitney, I have to go home and I have to feed two animals and a toddler, and then I get to myself and then when he goes back,

Ashlie Marshall (08:46):

Toddler don't what you want to eat. Yeah, well the workout, we're going to get to that. But you don't eat what? He won't eat what you eat, so it's like you're feeding your children.

Whitney Ramirez (08:55):

Sometimes he will,

Ashlie Marshall (08:56):

It just depends.

Whitney Ramirez (08:58):

Yeah, depends on the day. And then it's like I definitely don't put in a ton of effort into making meals right now because that would take a lot of my time.

Ashlie Marshall (09:13):

So that's something else that I've been toy with is I remember two years ago, I think it was about two years ago, I had three meals picked out by Sunday or by Friday before the week started, and I made sure to have the ingredients for those three meals and I would cook three times a week, and then me and my husband would eat leftovers. Dwayne and I would eat leftovers because we eat different. The kids, my kids are still chicken nuggets, carrots and broccoli.

(09:42):

That's it. That's dinner and we're good with that. Or they very basic stuff. Dwayne and I, Dwayne will eat whatever in terms of that he would eat with the kids, eat. He sometimes has as a kid's taste, but I don't want that. I want to cook myself a meal, but I have to have this understanding that, okay, I'm going to cook this and then I'm going to be the only one that eats it and then it will ask me for a week. Do I want to eat the same thing all week long or do I want to just pick and choose my dinner and have a beef jerky snack for dinner? I don't know. I don't know. That's me some days. Yeah, it is. It happens that way sometimes, but then it's like, okay, do I want to go back to cooking? Okay, well, I can't do all the things. I can't do the room mom and the cooking end of this and that. So it's like, what do you pick? I don't know what to pick. Maybe that's why I'm in such turmoil. I dunno what to pick.

Whitney Ramirez (10:35):

You have to choose what you want to put effort into. What would be the best option?

Ashlie Marshall (10:40):

Yeah, decision making. I'm usually a very decisive person. This is unchartered territory for me.

Whitney Ramirez (10:46):

Well, it's like, but you're deciding on something new that you're interested in, so it's like you're forced to make a decision.

Ashlie Marshall (10:55):

That's true. I guess that's a good way to look at it. But you mentioned working out. Yeah. So let's take all of that that we just talked about plus your job and now talk about when do you find time to work out? Well, we know when I work out, it's the first thing in the morning at 5:00 AM

Whitney Ramirez (11:14):

You do morning and I do night,

Ashlie Marshall (11:17):

But it's whatever works for you. So that's when you find your energy to do it. I have to do it right away. My energy is shot by five o'clock in the

Whitney Ramirez (11:26):

Oh, really?

Ashlie Marshall (11:27):

Yeah. In terms of when I have with the kids Back in school, yes. In the summertime. No, I was good to go until seven or eight, and then I'd be like, okay, it's time to get everybody in bed getting tired. But now with school back in session, I'm waking up earlier, I'm driving places, I'm going places, I'm doing things. I'm helping my nephew a little bit right now, getting prepped for college, and that's taking some time and energy, which it's not a bad thing, it's a positive thing, but

Whitney Ramirez (12:00):

It's a good thing

Ashlie Marshall (12:02):

Between five and six. I'm like, oh man, I'm wore out. I've done so much in one day.

Whitney Ramirez (12:09):

I went to bed at 10 30 last night and it was too early. I woke up at four in the morning and I could not go back to sleep.

Ashlie Marshall (12:18):

See, I've been going to bed at 11, well, 1130. I've been enjoying a book I'm reading,

Whitney Ramirez (12:28):

Which is there a fun book which wanted to do, did you

Ashlie Marshall (12:31):

Get all the little raindrops?

Whitney Ramirez (12:34):

Oh, maybe I've heard of that. I bought the Midnight Library.

Ashlie Marshall (12:39):

Oh, okay. Well, all the little raindrops is, this is not a plug for that book, but good grief. It is a great book.

Whitney Ramirez (12:48):

Really. It's

Ashlie Marshall (12:49):

Suspenseful kind of, but it also deals with some trauma. If you can't read things about someone else's personal, physical, emotional trauma, don't read it. But it is a great book and I started it on Saturday and I am 85, 90% done with it. I have 50 pages left. That's good. But I've never read that fast, but I've been dedicating time at night to reading. Right. So that's my wind down time. That's when I read. So my workouts are in the morning, but your opposite, you workout in the evening. Tell me about that.

Whitney Ramirez (13:26):

Well, I fast during the day, so I try to eat mostly between two and six, and then I'll start my workout around 8, 8 30.

Ashlie Marshall (13:38):

Yeah. See, I prefer to workout on fast.

Whitney Ramirez (13:43):

I would too, but just with my schedule, I feel like this is the best for me.

Ashlie Marshall (13:49):

I think it would make, I will say, I don't know about you. We have different ailments, but working out in a fast does make me more tired. And I do think that's why I lose my energy earlier in the day probably. But I like the way it feels better. I get a gust of energy around lunchtime in the morning when I out, yeah, when I work out in the morning, I'm fast, and then I usually, I wake up around five. I get hungry between 12 and one. Today was a little earlier than that, but that's when I'll eat my first meal between 12 and one. And

(14:27):

After I eat my lunch, instead of being tired and groggy, I have a lot of energy, but I also am eating very different. So that's a big part of it too. But then you have to factor in, okay, you're on this journey with your kids or maybe you don't have kids, but your schedule is still heavy and packed and you have to find time to do all the extra things, plus make sure you're eating healthy, make sure your family's eating healthy, and then make sure you're being physically active. We all know the physical activity is good for your health, and so that's all a part of self-care where if you care for yourself in that way, then you're going to have the ability to care for others. We know it doesn't mean every day is a success though. Exactly. Tell me about the days that you aren't successful. How do you feel?

Whitney Ramirez (15:22):

I don't know. It's like I literally just try again tomorrow because I think, oh, I've read something in one of the books I was reading about, if you can write a problem down, if you can fully explain the problem written, then you're halfway to solving it. And so some days you can get to that point and then the next day you just pick it up and see if the solution finds you then, because if you're already overwhelmed, you're not going to solve the problem, but you could probably write out the problem.

Ashlie Marshall (15:55):

So give me an example.

Whitney Ramirez (15:58):

Well, one example was yesterday we had a very large order to place, and so I sent the wire transfer over and I said, Hey, I sent the wire transfer over and it was domestic wire, so it just took one day.

Ashlie Marshall (16:19):

That takes a couple hours, usually

Whitney Ramirez (16:21):

Not even. And so after I sent the wire, they stopped replying to me, and after I asked them for the ETA on the order, they stopped replying. And so the next day Ray sends them an email and says, Hey, what's the ETA? And they were like, that order hasn't been placed. And I said, excuse me. The wire left our account and that's already been a whole day. What is going on?

Ashlie Marshall (16:50):

You didn't tell me about this. I'm freaking out

Whitney Ramirez (16:52):

In my head right now. Oh no, it was just so busy yesterday. And so then I was like, if I keep replying, I'm going to be very mean to this man. And so I'm like, I'm going to give it two hours and I'm going to go back to it. And I write out the problem in my head, okay, the wire left the account, but the order's not placed. I don't know when things are coming in and we have a tight due date. And so I write it all out on what's coming from where. And then in two hours I get an update from him saying, we did place the order. Everything is getting shipped out today. You're going to get your first giant shipment tomorrow. And I said, thank God that worked this time because I was stressed.

Ashlie Marshall (17:49):

Well, that's great. That example though, how you stepped away, you took a minute and maybe without realizing it. I've done that in certain instances. This morning would be a great example of that. I knew I had back to back meetings, but after my first meeting with the bookkeeper, understanding that I was on the right path with a project that I was working on that it is going to work. It's going to work out for whatever we need to report. I was like, okay. And I really just wanted to stop everything and just work on that task for the next hour and a half. But I have backed back meetings, and so I was like, I had to take a breath, jump into the next meeting, and even when I jumped into the next meeting with Lindy, I was like, okay, I need to stop looking at this screen because I'm not able to communicate with you right now.

Whitney Ramirez (18:42):

Yeah, hold on.

Ashlie Marshall (18:43):

Give me 30 seconds

Whitney Ramirez (18:44):

Focused on something else.

Ashlie Marshall (18:47):

Yeah, I had to completely switch one thing off and turn on another thing and have that meeting with Lindy, which went really well. And it was great, but then I had to switch from that to this, so it is back to back. Things happen all the time and I have not always been the best at, okay, stop thinking about those things, don't multitask. I have discovered over the course of the last six months, multitasking has made me very inefficient and I have not gotten as much done as I've wanted to. So if I'm in a meeting, I'm not going to respond to a text or if I am on a phone call, I'm not going to read an email. Those things have to be the cat just jumped out of my heart. Those things have to be separated better. So I've gotten better at that. But that's another thing. Having all these things thrown at your face at one time kind of make you reevaluate how you're handling them and get better at it over time, I guess.

Whitney Ramirez (19:47):

Oh, definitely.

Ashlie Marshall (19:49):

I'm sure that's something that you're on a therapy journey. And so stuff like that I'm sure probably comes up.

Whitney Ramirez (19:58):

Oh yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (19:59):

So we're going to start instituting every couple of episodes of Therapy Update because I feel like it's helpful information. I learn a lot from you when you share things that you've learned or grown through and I think other people can too. So I'm going to ask you to fill us in on your therapy update. What do you got for us today?

Whitney Ramirez (20:18):

I mean, it kind of goes in line with what you just said, but eventually as you continue going to therapy, you will learn to, okay, if a problem is existing, it can exist, but it exists over here and then you can pick it back up. So it's like when you go home, if you have work stressors or whatever stressors that you cannot absolutely fix at the moment, then you need to leave them somewhere outside of your body and then relax. You just learn to compartmentalize your emotions and pick them up and put them down when you need to. So that's what I talked about. Well, we talked about a lot in the last couple weeks, but yeah, that was a big one.

Ashlie Marshall (21:12):

Sounds like to me, it reminds me of the Serenity Prayer grant me the ability to accept the things I cannot change,

Whitney Ramirez (21:22):

The

Ashlie Marshall (21:22):

Courage to change things I can, but the wisdom to know the difference.

(21:28):

And I hear that heavy because there are a lot of times, I think as a parent, not just as moms, I'm sure dads go through this too, there are things that you worry about with your kids, or even if you're not a parent, you have animals. I know you worry about your pets or family members in general. You worry about things that you really have no control over, and you can be fearful of the thing happening, but spinning your brain power on those things and letting it consume your thought process or consume your emotions at the time, it's not effective. You can't get anything else done because you're focusing on something that you can't actually do anything about.

Whitney Ramirez (22:11):

Yeah, she was talking about living in the in-between for the most part, and it's like it's fine to live in. There's literally no rush to get anywhere. It's just like you have to focus on what's in front of you, not worry about the future like

Ashlie Marshall (22:31):

That. Yep. What's this sound crazy, but if you're a Disney fan, they say it in Frozen two, the next right thing. Right? What's the next right step?

Whitney Ramirez (22:43):

Oh, I don't think I've seen Frozen

Ashlie Marshall (22:46):

Two. It's the same thing. It always hits me in the head. I always hear Anna saying it, but it's true. It's like, what's the next little tick on my to-do list? Okay, can I get that done in 10 minutes? Yes, let's do it. Okay, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? And prioritizing what should be at the top of that list, regardless of how much time it takes you.

Whitney Ramirez (23:07):

And writing things out helps so much because you can get a lot, you can get overwhelmed, but then if you start writing it out, you're like, oh, it's not that much. I can definitely

Ashlie Marshall (23:18):

Exactly

Whitney Ramirez (23:19):

Finish this. Don't even to be so stressed

Ashlie Marshall (23:22):

When you keep stressed when you keep it all in your head. Yeah. When you keep it all in your head, it does. It makes you super stressed when you don't need to. So things we learned about our rogue chitchat today, live in the InBetween. Write things down, get it out of your head. Or if you use your phone, your notes app or whatever your equivalent is, if you don't have an apple, put it down, jot it down, get it out of your head, out of that mental

Whitney Ramirez (23:50):

Space. And if you want to be mean to someone, just write it in your notes app and then don't send it and you will still feel way better.

Ashlie Marshall (23:59):

How many emails have you witnessed me

Whitney Ramirez (24:02):

Pound into

Ashlie Marshall (24:02):

My keyboard and not

Whitney Ramirez (24:04):

Send? Yes, and just delete. It is so therapeutic.

Ashlie Marshall (24:09):

It really is. Because whatever you're feeling comes out, even though it's not directed to that person, and some of those words you probably shouldn't say to them because you're not saying it in a way.

Whitney Ramirez (24:19):

Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (24:20):

Productive.

Whitney Ramirez (24:21):

It's be soft on the person, but angry at the problem. Be aggressive with the problem, not the person.

Ashlie Marshall (24:30):

And that's a great, great comment.

Whitney Ramirez (24:34):

So

Ashlie Marshall (24:35):

Live in between, write stuff down, even emotions. Journaling's not a bad idea. It's not a bad option. Find the time to do those things. Set your priorities on what you want to spend your time on. Just prioritize that list of things that are most important for you to spend time and energy on, and then work through it from there one thing at a time.

Whitney Ramirez (25:03):

Yep.

Ashlie Marshall (25:05):

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed us chatting about real life stress and going rogue for an episode, wanting to talk about the things that we're experiencing and how we're coping, which is what our promise was to you anyway, that we are going to bring you what we go through and how we get through it. So if you have any helpful hints on how you deal with your stressors and work through your challenges and how you prioritize, let us know. We want to hear from you. Leave us a great review if you so choose, share us with your friends and we'll see you guys next time. Catch you next time. Bye y'all.

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