Balancing Personality and Professionalism at Business Events

Ashlie Marshall (00:00):

If you're in a leadership role, whether it be middle management or a higher level of responsibility in terms of leadership, it's so important to, like you said, Whitney, know where you're comfortable, know what your level of who you really are, you're comfortable with sharing that with others. Find that medium and it might change over time. I know mine has, I was very like, no, nobody's going to know anything about me. I'm just going to come and do my job and get out. And that's definitely changed over the course of the last seven years. So following your instincts on that I think is really big.

Whitney Ramirez (00:47):

On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

Ashlie Marshall (00:49):

On Wednesdays we wear pink. We do,

Whitney Ramirez (00:53):

Just so happens.

Ashlie Marshall (00:54):

What's up y'all? Welcome back to the c-suite chicks. I have had a morning, so I am tired, but I'm here.

Whitney Ramirez (01:05):

Me too.

Ashlie Marshall (01:07):

We're talking about something interesting today. Whitney and I and some members of our team with the digital agency. We had a work trip last week where we got the opportunity to visit with a lot of our clients in one place, and it was a lot of fun. It's always a lot of fun. Obviously we have goals that we want to meet while we are there professionally, and then those goals are internal and external and it got us thinking and talking about where those lines sits and how they blur or maybe don't, and kind of talking through what does that mean and how do we take our authenticity that we've talked about in past episodes and how we're just very real and true to who we are and how do we apply that in these settings. So out of curiosity, Whitney, why were you wanting to talk about this topic? I know why I was wanting to talk about it, but why were you wanting to talk about it?

Whitney Ramirez (02:15):

I think it's interesting from my perspective because the first work event that I went to, I was 22. And so seeing how, I mean, I was such a baby then and that's my first corporate-y type job. And so seeing what my experiences have been like year over year over year has been really helpful in learning the best approach to these types of events and how to keep myself safe and how to make sure it's a successful event and just ensuring that everything I need to do be done while also protecting myself and my team.

Ashlie Marshall (03:06):

I think. Well, I know in recent years, keeping yourself safe. Definitely. We talked about this on the trip, how you were saying you're not as aware of your surroundings most of the time, and I'm very opposite. I am crazy opposite. Growing up dad was always gone because of work and it was usually just me and my sister and my mom. And so my mom was very adamant about how she raised us in terms of be aware of your surroundings, notice everything, notice everyone without being obvious that you've noticed everything. And so when you and I traveled together the first time I remember I was very aware and you were very not. And I was like, okay, am I crazy? Am I too aware? Am I too psycho aware? I don't know. And so it's like we've learned from each other from that standpoint. And so the keeping yourself safe part, that's huge for me.

(04:11):

In terms of traveling, that's my number one priority is safety. And then I think this year was very different for me because we had more people with us. We traveled with a big team, but we traveled with a big team and you and I were responsible for them. And for me that was huge. I felt that heavily in terms of keeping everyone together, keeping everyone safe. Some of our environments were not the most professional environments and we prepared our team for that, but the safety aspect of it was really a big part for me. It's part of why I came home so exhausted. It wasn't the staying up late or the waking up early or the driving. It was definitely the I have to keep everyone together. I have to make sure everybody stays safe. Nobody's overdoing it, nobody's getting hit on nobody's. So

Whitney Ramirez (05:11):

I think this year too was different in the aspect that yes, we are going to see our clients and we're going to grow our business and make connections, but I also know our focus this year too was like, okay, let's set aside some time and do a team activity and make sure that we are spending quality time with our team while we're able to see them. Instead of just being like, okay, we're going to work from eight to five, make sure you're talking to this person, talk to this person. Did you text your clients? It was definitely a really good balance in terms of making sure we had our priorities before we even got there, knowing that we wanted to spend time with clients, we wanted to make new connections and we wanted to ensure our team had good quality time together.

Ashlie Marshall (06:07):

I think the part that was most successful in that realm was the preparation that we did. Yes, definitely how we communicated with the team, look, this is what it's like. This is what it's going to be like. This is what you're going to be doing. This is when you're going to be going to bed. This is when you're going to be getting up. We were very adamant about preparation and I mean we've said it a hundred times before, but our team is very responsible. We don't micromanage or babysit our people and they're very accustomed to that. And so they all did a really good job with, oh, I'm going to text so-and-so I'm going to get with these people. I'm going to make sure that I see these people and that makes the focus for you. And I we're able to put focus on them because they're doing their job and they're doing it really well, and that helps.

(06:52):

One of the, I think the biggest things, I don't know, we've talked about this before about terms of maybe not struggling but seeing it differently was when you're in an environment like that where we are not just in a realm that's a non 100% professional realm with our team, we're also in a realm with our clients. It's not necessarily a hundred percent professional realm, and we are interacting with those people in non-professional settings. How have you managed what of your personality you allow out and what of your personality, you kind of keep safeguarded in terms of this is just mine, this is just me and my close knit people, and I'm not going to extend that outward to others at this moment. Where do you find that balance?

Whitney Ramirez (07:45):

I think I try to keep topics the same as just my tone and my attitude towards those topics are just altered based on the environment that I'm in. And so for example, the topic remains about work, but the conversation regarding that topic is more playful and they can see, and I talk to them about the topic as if they're my friend more so if I'm visiting with someone in person than I would in a very data-driven or strategical way, I'm kind of throwing some of that out the window when we're in person and just more having a human conversation while still being professional of course. But I mean, I also feel like because we've had pretty established relationships with our clients, we know what their fun side looks like and how they would talk to a friend. And so we're becoming friendly and friends and we have true friends as clients too.

(08:59):

And so that's always helpful. But I mean I even notice it too where me and my client will give each other a hard time and then the week after for our normally scheduled meeting, it's right back to business and we're going over reports and we're going over needs and we're going over schedules and it's not as friendly and playful, but we know when to turn it on and we know when to turn it off and we know when the environment is more suited for a friendly conversation and we know when we need to get work done.

Ashlie Marshall (09:36):

Yes. But I think also, like you mentioned, there's certain topics you can stay in a safe zone of certain topics that might not be a hundred percent work related, but there is safe zone so that when that flip of the switch needs to happen, you can immediately just, okay, we're done with that part of the conversation and we're moving on to getting work done. I feel like in the past for me that past work environments that we've been through, we go through these about once or twice a year. Definitely there are major pieces of my personality that don't come out when I am more so than just topics of conversation. I think if there's just certain parts that come out when I'm with friends and close people, and even though I think of our team as friendly and some of our clients also, I have friendships with them, there's just certain aspects that just don't come out. And I think this year for me, I was much more reserved as well because I was responsible for all

Whitney Ramirez (10:47):

These people

Ashlie Marshall (10:49):

And I definitely did not want to slip up or something fall through the cracks, or not necessarily me saying or making some sort of mistake, but someone else being in a situation that wasn't a good situation for them. So I was just more of a mama hawk. I felt like this time around, which was way different than in the past where you and I have gone on these trips as part of the team in terms of we weren't responsible for everybody. So this year was very different for me. But in that though, the parts of my personality that do come out, they still are authentically who I am. It's just maybe a little less giggly or less loud, or if there's any way for me to be less loud, probably not. See, I feel

Whitney Ramirez (11:37):

Like it's opposite for us though because I am in real life, a pretty quiet and reserved and private person, and then I really have to turn myself on for these types of where I'm more social and I am more talkative and I'm louder and that's what I need to be. And it's not that I'm faking it because I am still being myself, but it takes a lot more energy for me because I'm not just naturally like that, but it's good for me at the same time because I get to practice being more communicative or more friendly. And so it's not a bad thing. And then you're the opposite where you're naturally very bold and you don't hold back. And then during those events you're like, okay, I need to turn it down. And I'm like, I need to turn it up. And we figure it out.

Ashlie Marshall (12:37):

We do figure it out. That's very interesting. I have definitely seen those pieces of our personalities and where we are opposite of each other in certain aspects, but I didn't know that when you go to this annual event that we attend every year, that you do definitely have to turn it on more. I feel like maybe because you and I are more friendly, I see those parts of you on a more regular basis, so I can understand that. Do you think now that we've had a couple of these under our belts and now this is the second one where we were kind of not in charge, but we were responsible for people last year was a little bit of a smaller grouping, but have you seen a shift in the team dynamics pre and post these events when the team gets to see us, you and I in a more relaxed setting? Do you see differences?

Whitney Ramirez (13:37):

I would say yes and no. I feel like our team is already very open and collaborative, but I think what I like the most about it is because we are all remote. I seeing people work with each other in person and getting more of a glimpse of how their day-to-day goes, because we can't always see that. And so I think that's been the cool part for me. What about you?

Ashlie Marshall (14:07):

That I agree with that I do. I know if I could come to Tulsa every month, I would do it because I do enjoy working in person with people. It is very different than how we do sit on our virtual office and we do have access to everybody. We're still not in a fully face-to-face collaborative environment. So it is very different. So I will say I agree with you in terms of that. I also think that the individuals that choose to come to these events, when we set that out there for them to make that choice, I feel like when we turn around and it's over and we come back, everybody is a bit more relaxed. And you're right, our team is very open. We have open door policies. We're very collaborative. But I also think that, I mean, even the questions that we filled while we were there, and they were like, how many days do carry over for sick days?

(15:02):

And I was like, how many do you want? We don't really track. We track it, but we don't have anybody who abuses it, so we don't feel the need to restrict anybody in terms of time off. So they're like, how many of this that? And I'm like, how many do you want? Okay, well 10. Sure. That sounds great. I feel like those pieces of our face-to-face banter that we happen to get into while we're in face-to-face mode allows the team to see, okay, it is a professional setting, but they really are, we're human. You're human. And we kind of work that way. And I think they feel a little bit more relaxed when they come back from seeing us there,

Whitney Ramirez (15:43):

A firm's healthy workplace culture,

Ashlie Marshall (15:47):

Which is why we like to do it. Yeah,

Whitney Ramirez (15:49):

That's

Ashlie Marshall (15:50):

Why we like to try to be in person at minimum once a year if we're lucky, we get it twice. What would you say to leaders, whether they be in at our level of leadership or below or maybe even higher level leadership, what would you give them as far as advice in terms of leading with their personality and allowing their team to see that part of them, even in a professional setting?

Whitney Ramirez (16:23):

I would say to definitely try to be true to yourself. I mean, I don't know. I feel like it's really hard to give advice, but it's better to figure out what feels most natural for you and what you feel comfortable with, and understanding what are my boundaries on what I want to share and what I don't want to share. And knowing that going into a setting where you want to be more personable, know what you're good with and not, but always be yourself because it's going to, if you put on some persona, it's going to be really hard to keep up with that. And so I just say know yourself, know what you're comfortable with, and use that to your advantage and find what feels right.

Ashlie Marshall (17:18):

Do you think it's harder for women to find that comfortability zone as opposed to men? And do you think it's harder for women to allow parts of their personality to come out, or do you think it's easier for them? What is your take on that?

Whitney Ramirez (17:34):

I feel like women have more of an advantage when it comes to using personality in a professional setting because I don't know, it's hard. I feel like I have an advantage selling as a woman over men who do sales, but then it depends on the industry that you're selling in because maybe in a different industry I'd have a disadvantage. And then being young is also one of those where it's like you have an advantage for some industries being young, like digital marketing, and then you have a disadvantage in others where they only trust people with 20 years of experience or whatnot. But yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's so many factors. What do you think?

Ashlie Marshall (18:29):

I agree with you. There's a lot of different factors. This is going to sound crazy. Nobody might know this movie, but some people might is a movie called The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. And when I was asking you that question, her character popped into my head because at work, she had this persona that she was a bitch, mean bite your head off fire. She was just real tough. But when she let her guard down, she really wasn't that tough person. She was a very sensitive, kind, caring person. And I think that in today's corporate culture, it's harder for women to allow those parts, their personality to come out because they're viewed as maybe weak. Maybe she can't really manage a team of 20 because she's too nice. People are going to walk all over her. And I mean, I've definitely heard that phrase before, you're too nice, you're too kind.

(19:27):

And I'm like, no, I'm not. My kindness, while it's given to everybody equally, if it is misused or abused, then that will be my lesson learned and it won't be so extended to those individuals. So I think that 10 years ago I would not have said that, right? 10 years ago, I would've been like, no, you have to be tough. You have to keep it all. Can't show kindness or extend compassion because they will definitely be like, oh, you can't do that, that people are going to take advantage of you. And it's like, well, some people might take advantage of me, but I will learn from it and I'll learn to see the signs. But I do think that that's a big piece of if you're in a leadership role, whether it be middle management or a higher level of responsibility in terms of leadership, it's so important to, like you said, Whitney, know where you're comfortable, know what your level of who you really are, you're comfortable with sharing that with others. Find that medium. And it might change over time. I know mine has, I was very like, no, nobody's going to know anything about me. I'm just going to come and do my job and get out. And that's definitely changed over the course of the last seven years. So following your instincts on that, I think is really big.

(20:57):

How do you think outside of what we already do, which is lead by example, show team members how to do this, but how would you encouraged team members who you see struggling to share their personality or be who they are? If you can tell that they're not being authentic with their team, how would you guide them or help them get through that?

Whitney Ramirez (21:21):

I probably mean it usually comes down to self-confidence, and so it'd probably be more so of like, okay, what are some ways we can lift this person up and help them feel more confident before expecting them to open up? Just not if they're feeling insecure or not confident or confused. And so I guess trying to find the root of the issue is going to be the best option there. And helping to sharpen their confidence a bit and then working towards helping them with anything else.

Ashlie Marshall (22:07):

What if they're incredibly confident in their ability to do the job, but they're just not social with the team?

Whitney Ramirez (22:17):

That's a good,

Ashlie Marshall (22:20):

That's a tough one.

Whitney Ramirez (22:21):

That is tough

Ashlie Marshall (22:22):

Because I feel like we've encountered that a few times in the past. Yeah,

Whitney Ramirez (22:26):

It is hard. But when it comes to that, I think that kind of person is necessary for a specific kind of job. And then there are others that wouldn't do the job as well, but would be able to talk better about it, and maybe they're better at sales, and then they're very technical people, and then they're very personable people and they each kind of fit in a different role. And so I don't know. Sometimes you can't expect everything of everyone, of course, but totally right. There's always opportunities to help people become better at what they struggle with, even if they will never be the best at it. Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (23:15):

Yeah. It's very important though that you have a mix of both types of people. Yeah. Oh yeah. You have to have the outgoing, chatty could talk all day, and if I say that, we know who we're talking about, and you have to have the calmer, quieter, excellent at the specific skillset that they want to grow in and they want to exceed, but while also of nudging them in this realm of, okay, it's okay to be uncomfortable in this setting, accept the uncomfortability and work through it on both sides, getting a very talkative person to kind of quiet down and take the backseat and let somebody else lead the conversation as well as the person who doesn't want to be involved in the conversation. Encourage them to be a part of it, even if it is a small part, because stepping into those realms of uncomfortability is where we grow, whether it's personal growth or professional growth, and maybe getting those quiet people to be more involved is more of a personal growth than a professional one. And growth is growth. Take it when it comes, right? It's

Whitney Ramirez (24:31):

Never a bad thing to learn a new skill.

Ashlie Marshall (24:34):

Do you feel like any of our team members struggle to find the balance? I

Whitney Ramirez (24:39):

Don't think so. I feel like everyone kind of knows where they stand in terms of how comfortable they are, and there's a lot of trust and confidence within our team, and so I feel like that kind of prevents there from being so much difficulty, but I don't know. I can't think of anything like any red flags,

Ashlie Marshall (25:08):

None. I would say some of our clients might struggle with it.

Whitney Ramirez (25:14):

Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely.

Ashlie Marshall (25:17):

And maybe they don't struggle with it. Maybe they just don't give two shits. Maybe that's what it's,

Whitney Ramirez (25:23):

Yeah. Or it's like, oh, that's just their personality. I was like, oh, okay.

Ashlie Marshall (25:28):

I feel like we have definitely made those discoveries along the way, realizing when you're face to face with them that it's very different as opposed to when you're not, and then being like, oh, oh, okay, well that's cool. And it's never really, I will say being face-to-face with any of our clients or our team members for that matter, has never really given me a different view of them. I feel like they're still in that view. It's just like, oh, I didn't realize, okay,

Whitney Ramirez (25:56):

Cool's like meeting 200 new people almost. It's like it's a lot to take in and you're learning everyone's personalities kind of at the same time. And it's kind having a pen pal too, where it's like you write to this person and you feel like you understand them and their personality, and you may be seeing a picture of them here and there, and then you meet 'em in person and it's like, oh my gosh. You have this whole perception of someone as if they're a character in a book, and then you meet them in real life, and they're not always going to match your expectation a hundred percent, but it's just learning who they are. It's not a good or a bad thing. It's entertaining and interesting. Honestly,

Ashlie Marshall (26:40):

I like the entertaining one. Yeah.

Whitney Ramirez (26:42):

It's very entertaining, never boring, and

Ashlie Marshall (26:45):

I'm sure we're equally as entertaining to others.

Whitney Ramirez (26:49):

They feel the same way about us.

Ashlie Marshall (26:53):

Yeah. I think that's the fun part to realize is we're meeting new people, so are they, and we might be done by day three, but so are they. Yes,

Whitney Ramirez (27:03):

Definitely. We're

Ashlie Marshall (27:04):

All kind of done with the social interaction at that point. Even if you are very outgoing, I feel like it is quite exhausting,

Whitney Ramirez (27:12):

So much networking and catching up with old friends and meeting new people. It's a lot to take in learning, also, being educated on new systems and to thinking strategy for your own business. It's a lot happening in one week.

Ashlie Marshall (27:30):

It really is, especially for our clients. I feel like this one specific event that happens every summer, it's such a whirlwind because they are in class after class, after class, learning new things that either may become mandatory for them soon or not at all. They're just optional, but do I really need to learn how to do it or do I not? And best practices for their industry and education in their industry and all the new products and all the new flashy, shiny things that are getting waved in their face. It's a lot. And then we're like, Hey, let's meet up and have coffee. And they're like, really?

Whitney Ramirez (28:08):

Yeah. They're like, oh, it's fine.

Ashlie Marshall (28:11):

How about a drink instead? Yeah. And then outside of the event we go to every summer, us putting on an event for our team is very different, but I also think that both are equally appreciated when our team gets to attend them.

Whitney Ramirez (28:30):

Totally.

Ashlie Marshall (28:33):

Any extra advice that you would give to someone who isn't quite sure how personal to be in a work environment event?

Whitney Ramirez (28:42):

Say, don't overthink it.

Ashlie Marshall (28:46):

That is perfect advice. Stop worrying about it. Just show up as you, and if you don't trust yourself to do things like have a light drink while you're there, then don't have a glass of water or bubbly water if you're me in your hand and just have conversations,

Whitney Ramirez (29:09):

And that's it. Practice is we'll give you perspective and help you understand where you fit,

Ashlie Marshall (29:18):

And the more you immerse yourself in environments like that, the less awkward you will feel. I won't tell you that it will be easy, because if it's not easy to you, it won't be easy to you ever. Yeah. But you'll feel less awkward,

Whitney Ramirez (29:33):

Right? Definitely.

Ashlie Marshall (29:43):

All right. Well, as always, if you enjoyed hearing us ramble about work events and authenticity, we hope you did. Please leave us a review. Let us know what you think and share the episode with your friends. Thanks for listening. Thanks for stopping. Bye. Bye y'all. Bye.

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