Success Timelines: How Happiness Evolves on Your Journey

Success Timelines: How Happiness Evolves on Your Journey

‍

Do you ever stumble across an old journal entry and wonder if your younger self was onto something? In episode 16 of the C-Suite Chicks podcast, Whitney and Ashlie dive deep into a piece of childhood wisdom from Whitney's 14-year-old self. While cleaning out some things, Whitney found an entry she wrote when she was 14  titled "Guide to Successful Living," and the thoughts inside sparked a conversation that took them down the memory lane of dreams, innocence, and life lessons.

‍

The duo kicks off the episode with excitement over an upcoming girls' trip to Leavenworth, Washington—a real-life Bavarian village that promises a much-needed getaway. But the real meat of the discussion comes when Whitney shares the contents of her teenage journal entry. The "Guide to Successful Living" surprisingly doesn't touch on career milestones, financial success, or material goals. Instead, it focuses on staying positive, following one's heart, and the importance of surrounding oneself with people who bring happiness rather than stress.

‍

As they dissect the 14-year-old's advice, Ashlie and Whitney reflect on how success has different meanings at different stages in life. Whitney candidly admits that while she wasn’t following this advice five years ago, she finds herself more aligned with it now. For her, success isn't just about achieving external goals—it's about inner peace, nurturing positive relationships, and self-care. They explore the concept that by taking care of your physical and mental health, you set yourself up for success in other areas of your life.

‍

But success isn’t about a constant state of ease. Whitney points out that finding peace requires hard work and discipline. It's the accumulation of small wins and personal growth that make the effort lighter over time. They discuss the age-old wisdom that you attract what you project and how important it is to set high standards for the people you allow into your life. Whitney shares how therapy and self-awareness have helped her curate her circle, ultimately guiding her towards a life that feels more successful and fulfilling.

‍

The episode also explores the idea that happiness evolves. What brings joy at one stage of life might not have the same effect at another. Ashlie shares how picking up her kids from school brings her immense happiness now—something her 20-year-old self might not have valued the same way. They conclude that happiness isn't a concrete destination but rather an ongoing journey shaped by life's changes.

‍

Overall, the episode reminds us that the path to successful living is deeply personal and ever-changing. Whitney's youthful advice serves as a reminder that while external achievements matter, true success is about living a life that brings inner peace and joy. Whether it's about trusting your instincts, surrounding yourself with the right people, or taking the time to care for yourself, this episode offers plenty of food for thought.

‍

Listen to the full conversation in episode 16 for more insights and join the C-Suite Chicks as they share their reflections on what it truly means to live a successful life!

‍

Whitney Ramirez (00:00):

If you're in a good space and you're pouring into yourself, success is going to follow you because you're so focused. If you're making sure that you are taking care of yourself and you're eating enough and drinking enough water and getting some exercise and paying attention to your physical health and your mental health, there's truly no way to not be successful. If you have the discipline to take care of yourself, then you just are setting yourself up to find success in other areas of your life.

Ashlie Marshall (00:42):

Hey, y'all, its the C-Suite Chicks. How's it going? No, how are you doing today with

Whitney Ramirez (00:50):

It's going? I'm doing really good. Yesterday felt like a dream and we're going somewhere so fun for my birthday. Yes,

Ashlie Marshall (01:00):

We are. I'm very excited. Most of my friends, including you, have small children and just like me, and it's really hard to pick three or four days to take adults only. We are going to call it a girls trip because it's girls, but guys trip, friend trip, whatever you want to call it, get away. And so I haven't gone on a trip like this probably in about eight or nine years, so I'm super pumped.

Whitney Ramirez (01:34):

I'm so excited. I don't think I've ever been on a trip like that. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't count any work trips. So yeah, I don't think work trips

Ashlie Marshall (01:47):

Are not

Whitney Ramirez (01:47):

Fun getaways. Okay. Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (01:51):

They might be in fun places, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're fun getaways. We're not actually getting away from anything,

Whitney Ramirez (01:57):

And this is literally on my bucket list, a dream spot to visit, and not a lot of people know about it. It's Leavenworth Washington. It's a real life Bavarian village during the Christmas time and then in the fall and the summer, it's still the little villages there, but they go all out for Christmas

Ashlie Marshall (02:23):

And

Whitney Ramirez (02:24):

There's super pumped reindeer. We're

Ashlie Marshall (02:25):

Going at Christmas.

Whitney Ramirez (02:27):

Yeah, we're going during my birthday. It's like a long weekend and it's going to be so much fun. It

Ashlie Marshall (02:33):

Is going to be fun. I'm very excited to spend time away from work for us to kick it and chill because Me too. We are actually really good friends outside of work. So today's topic that we have decided to embark on with y'all, Whitney was cleaning out some things and looking for my passport that I need next month. Yes, you do. Did you find the passport? I did. Excellent.

Whitney Ramirez (03:02):

And so many other things.

Ashlie Marshall (03:04):

So tell us a little bit about what you found.

Whitney Ramirez (03:07):

I found some journal entries from when I was 14, and the one that stuck out to be the most was called the Guide to Successful Living. So I wrote one page

Ashlie Marshall (03:24):

From the mind of a 14-year-old

Whitney Ramirez (03:25):

Woman on how to live a successful life from my 14-year-old point of view.

Ashlie Marshall (03:33):

Give it to us.

Whitney Ramirez (03:35):

Okay. So I'll read the whole thing. I said, okay.

Ashlie Marshall (03:38):

It's kind of long.

Whitney Ramirez (03:39):

Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (03:40):

Okay.

Whitney Ramirez (03:41):

I got 10 out of 10. All this, by the way, perfect score. Yes. It says it's necessary to stay positive, to have a successful life, you have to keep your chin up and be strong and know everything is going to turn out great. I believe if you think things will be okay, then they will be no matter what. I also think it's necessary to follow your heart because I believe it will never lead you wrong. I think you should not worry about what others think, and you have to be happy with yourself before you can start to worry about anyone else in your life. I've been through this lesson many times and I have no clue what I'm referencing there in terms of I've learned this lesson, but I, because I was still going to ask you that question. Yeah. What were you, I don't know.

(04:26):

I said, I've been taught this lesson many times and I've always came out with the same lesson learned. My heart will always speak louder than my mind. I think a major part of having a successful life is finding someone that makes you happy. Whether it's your best friend or your boyfriend, you should never keep someone in your life that only causes you to worry or stress out. And once you find that someone, keep them in your life as long as you can marry someone who you can see spending the rest of your life with happily, don't put up with anyone or anything that you don't deserve. There's always going to be someone in your life that makes you happy.

Ashlie Marshall (05:05):

Very interesting Lessons from the mouth of babes. Kind of a wise, yeah. Kind

Whitney Ramirez (05:13):

Of wise. For 14. Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (05:18):

Okay. That's a lot, but I feel like you called it a guide to successful living. So first question is, did you follow your own advice throughout the course of your life?

Whitney Ramirez (05:35):

I think I did. I don't know. Well, I know I didn't for the majority,

Ashlie Marshall (05:42):

I think. Okay, so wait, let me ask it differently. I think this will help you answer it right now. In this moment, right before you found this, do you feel as though where you are at life? You're following this?

Whitney Ramirez (05:57):

Yes.

Ashlie Marshall (05:58):

Okay. Five years ago,

Whitney Ramirez (06:00):

No.

Ashlie Marshall (06:01):

Okay.

Whitney Ramirez (06:02):

Five years ago, I was doing kind of the opposite where I was pouring into others much more than I was pouring into myself. That's so interesting

Ashlie Marshall (06:14):

Because you and I have talked about that,

Whitney Ramirez (06:17):

And it's like I was not being positive towards myself. I was also allowing other people to be negative towards me too. And then I was not following my heart really, I don't think, because I just didn't, I was just lost. I was just so anxious and stressed and trying to stay afloat. I feel like I was just in survival mode.

Ashlie Marshall (06:47):

That's where I was going to go with it was understanding that you weren't really following your heart, but you also weren't really sure what your heart was saying at that

Whitney Ramirez (06:56):

Moment. Oh, no. I had no clue.

Ashlie Marshall (06:59):

So there's lots of pieces to unpack in that little notebook paper that you texted me a picture of is so adorable. I love it. But in terms of successful living and success, that's successful living and what people view as success, what you wrote here actually doesn't have anything to do with being successful in life. It's more so how you want to live your life. And in essence, to put it another way, living by a code, being a good person or having a good heart, treating people, kindness, those are all different types of codes that you live by. But in terms of this, how or if at all do you feel it's applicable to being successful in life? Not successful living, but being successful?

Whitney Ramirez (07:57):

Well, I think if you're in a good space and you're pouring into yourself, success is going to follow you because you're so focused. If you're making sure that you are taking care of yourself and you're eating enough and drinking enough water and getting some exercise and paying attention to your physical health and your mental health, there's truly no way to not be successful. If you have the discipline to take care of yourself, then you just are setting yourself up to find success in other areas of your life.

Ashlie Marshall (08:44):

What for you, define success? When you say find success in other areas of your life, define that. What's success to you?

Whitney Ramirez (08:54):

I think, I don't know, peace in general. Peace in a relationship and friendships in financials. I think that is success. I guess being content in a way where it's like everything that you need in life is coming your way and you are pouring out as you are receiving in a way.

Ashlie Marshall (09:22):

I don't know. Yeah, I feel like that's a big part of it. Making sure that one, taking care of yourself is really important. And honestly, women aren't as good at it as men are. And not to say that men are all that great at taking care of themselves, and some aren't, especially single dads or people who just have a lot of responsibilities in terms of taking care of others is people in general. It's hard for us to remember that we have to take the time to take care of ourself. But you also said having peace. Peace in your relationships, peace in your financials and peace in those things. I feel like someone listening might think, well, does that mean everything's going to be easy and peaceful?

Whitney Ramirez (10:11):

No,

Ashlie Marshall (10:12):

Absolutely not. Never. The good stuff always requires a

Whitney Ramirez (10:15):

Fight. You have

Ashlie Marshall (10:17):

To work for the good

Whitney Ramirez (10:18):

Stuff. You have to work to get to the peaceful moments, and they come and go just like anything. But it's like once you find, I feel like it's like once you find success and you see those winds start piling up, then it makes the discipline of putting in the work lighter. You kind of become more resilient in terms of, I know that if I put in a lot of good effort, a lot of good will come back to me. And so it's not as like, oh my God, I have to do X, Y, Z, or Oh my God, I'm so busy, I cannot handle this. I wish we were slow. You're not going to finally saying that

Ashlie Marshall (11:08):

Because

Whitney Ramirez (11:08):

It's like, I don't know. I feel like if we get in life, get out of life, what you put into it,

Ashlie Marshall (11:17):

It's kind of that old saying of at least I always used to be told you attract what you project. So whatever attitude, effort, energy you are projecting into the world, to whoever, that's the same energy, attitude, effort you're going to attract. So you're a little guide here is very helpful in some aspects to your 14-year-old self, even though parts of your life you followed it, parts of life, you did it, but following your heart, A lot of people would also say, I mean, sometimes I say it, go with your gut. Your instincts will not fail you.

Whitney Ramirez (12:06):

They

Ashlie Marshall (12:06):

Might lead you astray a little bit, but they don't usually lead you astray. It's usually what you're wanting to do over what your instincts are telling you to do.

Whitney Ramirez (12:20):

How many

Ashlie Marshall (12:20):

People have not followed their instincts and done what they wanted to do,

Whitney Ramirez (12:25):

And then you just get natural consequences.

Ashlie Marshall (12:29):

You learn those suck either way. If you have not experienced natural consequences yet, they suck. So we talked about peace and success, but would you have found determined success? What would you have thought was successful when you were 14?

Whitney Ramirez (12:56):

Yeah. The crazy part to me is that that's what I wrote, but then looking back then, I would think success would be graduating college, being a doctor, owning a house, having kids by 24, getting married young. Those are actually what I thought back then. I was kind of surprised when I read that because I didn't put anything about work. But you were 14. I know. I didn't put what my life actually would look like. I was just like,

(13:36):

So I didn't write any of that, but I know that I was a very ambitious kid. I did well in school and I knew I would go to college. I knew I'd finished college, but I didn't write it about any of that. So it's in a way, I agree with my 14-year-old self that your educational only take you so far. But I am not even using my degree right now. And so it's kind of just funny to reflect on it because everything I wrote in that is so I can reference it and relate to it so much in my life right now,

Ashlie Marshall (14:25):

Which is a full 10 years later, I mean 10 plus years,

Whitney Ramirez (14:30):

Like 16 years later. So

Ashlie Marshall (14:33):

Crazy. Which kind of brings me to the wisdom that is in innocence. I would not say that your life at that point in time was without challenges or tragedy or hardship. You definitely had those things at that point in your life.

Whitney Ramirez (14:58):

That was a rough time. My grandma had just been diagnosed with cancer

Ashlie Marshall (15:04):

At that time. You definitely had challenges,

Whitney Ramirez (15:08):

But

Ashlie Marshall (15:08):

You also had a piece of innocence to you being that young, and this was what was produced of that. And I never had a boyfriend. I know you didn't even have any ling of having a boyfriend that wasn't even like, but you mentioned it. You talked about having someone that makes you happy in your life.

Whitney Ramirez (15:29):

I mean,

Ashlie Marshall (15:29):

You didn't specify if it was a spouse or a lover, but you specified the people in your life, right?

Whitney Ramirez (15:36):

Yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (15:36):

So I mean, I feel like because known you for a long time now I can say that because it's been a long time. I've watched you walk down the path of fixing the people who are around you and for the better. Not fixing the people, but fixing who's in your circle and who's not. Yeah. And do you feel like that has guided you to successful

Whitney Ramirez (16:04):

Living? Oh yeah. I told my therapist that the people, and the crazy thing is I reflect now and I look hold my friends to the highest standard. I have such a high standard for who I am friends with compared to who I would date in my college years.

Ashlie Marshall (16:35):

That is so interesting.

Whitney Ramirez (16:37):

Well, I understand it because therapy. But yeah, it's insane to think about that.

Ashlie Marshall (16:47):

My dad used to always tell me, and I used to always roll my eyes at him. There was a few things he used to say that was referencing to the people around you, and it was, you are who you associate with. And my response to him when I was younger we're talking like high school, college, was my response was to him, dad, you have enough faith in me that I am strong enough in who I am to not allow their behavior to affect my behavior. And that was my response to him in high school. I still kind of understand why I would say that to him. It felt when he would say that to me, it felt like he was telling me I'm going to become that person who made that bad choice and ended up in a bad situation because I'm hanging out with him, which is exactly what he was saying. And he wasn't wrong,

(17:43):

But I was like, I know better than to do that. But then in college, when you're kind of far removed from everything you grew up with, then you start recognizing, oh, well that was really stupid. Why the hell did I do that? Why did I allow that person to do that and get me in that position? And you're like, ah, damn it, dad fricking right. Then you get mad, but then you start to understand it. And the other thing he used to say to me all the time, which I used to hate too, was if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, then it's a duck. And I used to hate that too because he was teaching me that if you pay attention, people will tell you who they are by what they say and what they do. That's all a part of becoming a person who has successful living, not is successful. We're not talking about being successful. We're talking about how to live a life that you feel successful in your actions and your active living. And I feel like that's very different than claiming that, oh, yes, I feel successful today, or I feel successful in life.

Whitney Ramirez (18:55):

It's very different. Go ahead. Even more so I think what I was writing is more how to be happy than how to be successful. And I was equating happiness with success as a kid. So that's a really big a sad, I was always sad. So literally that one page is mostly, here's how to be happy

Ashlie Marshall (19:25):

For you. Here's how to be happy for you. Now, that is interesting, the tie between happiness and success, because if you were to think over the course of your adult life, what makes you happy today? Would it have made you happy 10 years ago in your early twenties? I don't know. I mean, I don't think that, for me, if I think back to my early twenties, I mean we were just ending college, figuring out what life is about and what made me happy, then I don't think I would want to be doing that now.

Whitney Ramirez (20:08):

Yeah. I don't know. I was so just dead set on getting through college in my early twenties that I just would You did anything to get through

Ashlie Marshall (20:23):

It. Yeah. Would you agree that happiness isn't a concrete thing?

Whitney Ramirez (20:35):

No. I think it's like you'll experience spurts of it, just like any other emotion.

Ashlie Marshall (20:42):

But in terms of what causes happiness, do you feel like that's a concrete set of things, or do you feel like it's evolution evolutionary? If I could use the right words, that would be fantastic. Sorry, say it again.

Whitney Ramirez (20:55):

I agree. I think it's always going to be changing because what made you happy as a 3-year-old is maybe a bag of fruit snacks in your TV show. And then maybe when you're 30, that's also going to make you happy, but it's not the same happiness.

Ashlie Marshall (21:12):

Exactly. And ooh, that's another good point is there's different levels of happiness, right? Yeah. At least for me, there are. One of the things that makes me the happiest at this moment in my life, nobody laugh at me, is when I pick up my kids from school, because they're usually so excited to be out of school, their day is over, they're happy to get in the car and see me. They're not always happy to see mom, but when they get out of school, they're really happy to see you. They're really happy. And so I love hearing their stories. I love them. Oh, I got treasure box. Oh, I got a glow note. Oh, I did this and I made a goal at practice or at recess today because my kid's obsessed with soccer and does it at all times, and that's fun. That makes me happy. And then 20 minutes later when we get home and I tell them they can't have their iPads, they have to do schoolwork. They're like, and then my life sucks for a minute, but it's okay because that would be the down part, the hard part. But I know in the evolution of the day or the week or the month, there's going to be moments where they are happy and it's fun to experience their happiness, and that makes me happy.

Whitney Ramirez (22:31):

I think that's where I got caught up is because seeing people that I care about be happy, genuinely fulfills me, but it doesn't continue to fulfill me enough to just lose focus on myself. And that's where it's like you just have to become self-aware enough to realize I can experience joy from making other people happy, but I need to continue to make myself happy as well.

Ashlie Marshall (23:02):

You need to experience joy that is not connected to other people.

Whitney Ramirez (23:07):

Oh, yeah.

Ashlie Marshall (23:09):

Yeah. Ooh, that's a tough one. Well, I can say so. Okay, so then tell me some things that bring you joy that is not connected to bringing others joy.

Whitney Ramirez (23:26):

Well, I recently found a lot of joy in running,

Ashlie Marshall (23:32):

And

Whitney Ramirez (23:33):

Especially through the Scenic Trail, fun over by my house. Isn't it fun? It's so fun. Yeah. It relaxes my mind and it truly brings me peace.

Ashlie Marshall (23:48):

Yeah. The minute for me, when you push through that part where you're like, oh God, I can't keep running, and then you just keep going. It's like almost as if the doors open and you're like, oh my

Whitney Ramirez (24:00):

Gosh, this is so awesome. Because I never knew how people enjoyed that before. Same. But I see how it makes me feel, and I see that I have control over emotionally regulating myself through exercise. And then obviously I'm in therapy weekly to cover my mental health. But I don't know, it's been a huge thing for me in learning how to take care of myself and find it's like, I don't know. I'm learning what I actually does make me happy. That does not involve anyone else. I'm being forced to learn that, and it's good for me.

Ashlie Marshall (24:47):

It's a really great thing. It really is. And so your little guide to Successful Living, I think what we should do is pull out the high points and make a bullet list and throw it on our site and put it on c-suite, chicks pod.com, as do it a brief overview of successful living from the mouth of Babes.

Whitney Ramirez (25:14):

Yep.

Ashlie Marshall (25:16):

Little me, little you, man. I don't think I would've wrote anything like this at the age of 14. Age of 14, I was what? A freshman, sophomore, freshman. Freshman,

Whitney Ramirez (25:29):

Freshman probably.

Ashlie Marshall (25:31):

Yeah. Yes, freshman in high school. And my biggest concern was if my mom was going to get me from one cheer practice to the next on time, because if I'm late, I have to condition.

Whitney Ramirez (25:46):

That's so funny.

Ashlie Marshall (25:48):

And that was my world for four years. Anyway, if you have written something like this, when you are younger for an assignment, and even if your guide to successful Living was Don't eat too many fruit snacks, I want to hear about it, share it. I want to know, I would love to see other people post things that they wrote for assignments back in the day that they've come across. If you have them, if you don't and you recall them, drop us a note. We want to know about it. And as always, we cherish and value the time you spend with us. So thank you for listening. And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review, and as always, share with your friends. Thanks. Thanks. See y'all later.