Life with Chronic Illness: The Impact on Work, Parenting, and Self-care

Life with Chronic Illness: The Impact on Work, Parenting, and Self-care

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Struggling with a Chronic Illness? You're Not Alone

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Are you ready to hear a candid conversation about the challenges and triumphs of living with a chronic illness? In episode 11 of the C-Suite Chicks Podcast, hosts Ashlie Marshall and Whitney Ramirez share their personal experiences navigating life with Crohn's disease and Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. This episode offers a raw and honest look at the daily struggles and the importance of finding ways to cope and thrive.

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Ashlie and Whitney begin by discussing their respective diagnoses and the journey to finding the right treatment plans. Whitney, who was initially misdiagnosed with ulcerative colitis, emphasizes the importance of advocating for oneself and seeking out the right medical support. Ashlie, who discovered her condition post-college, shares her experience with functional medicine and the trial-and-error process of finding what works best for her body.

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The conversation delves into the mental and emotional toll of living with a chronic illness. Whitney opens up about her decision to keep her condition private, stemming from the lack of understanding and support she faced in high school. Ashlie touches on the challenges of maintaining focus and memory, and the frustration that comes with not being able to perform at the same level as before.

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Despite the daily struggles, both hosts emphasize the importance of finding ways to stay positive and realistic. Whitney shares her perspective on the futility of negativity, choosing instead to focus on the present and take things day by day. Ashlie discusses her methods for managing frustration, such as taking breaks and finding small moments of joy.

The episode also explores the concept of balance and self-care when living with a chronic illness. Whitney and Ashlie agree that true balance is unattainable, and it's essential to prioritize and make choices based on the limited energy available each day. They share their personal definitions of self-care, from staying dedicated to a treatment plan to finding small indulgences that bring comfort.

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One of the most powerful takeaways from the episode is the hosts' perspective on how their illnesses have shaped their outlook on life. Whitney believes that chronic illness has taught her discipline and helped her identify her priorities. Ashlie shares that the hard work required to manage her health has made her more appreciative of small wins and more resilient in the face of setbacks.

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As the episode concludes, Ashlie and Whitney invite listeners dealing with chronic illnesses to share their own experiences and coping mechanisms. They emphasize the importance of community and the power of knowing that you're not alone in your struggles.

Episode 11 of The C-Suite Chicks Podcast is a must-listen for anyone navigating life with a chronic illness or seeking to understand the challenges faced by those who do. Ashlie and Whitney's honest and relatable conversation offers comfort, inspiration, and a reminder that it's possible to find joy and purpose despite the obstacles.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:00:00]:

You know, my doctor's so realistic with me, and, like, you have an incurable illness and it's better that you have it now than years and years ago when they didn't have better medicines to treat it. And yes, you're suffering, but there's new medications coming out, so it's just you kind of take it day by day, honestly.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:00:23]:

Hey, y'all, it's the C-Suite Chicks. Welcome back. Welcome back. You know, we are, Whitney and I have had a very interesting ride the last few weeks, and we're gonna talk about a piece of it today instead of talking about, you know, business, and we're gonna talk about life.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:00:46]:

A little bit of real life. As you guys, if you have listened to past episodes, you've heard us interview Whitney and kind of talk through what her the making of Whitney story. And she touched on lightly the chronic illness that she deals with every day, which is Crohn's. And she is going to give us a little bit more on that today and what life is like, not necessarily about Crohn's, but about how she gets through her day to day. I suffer from a different condition. Still frustrating. Not as severe in terms of my medical health, but it does definitely cause issues for me. I have hashimoto's hypothyroidism and autoimmune disorder, and it is frustrating at times, some of the things that happen to you when you have that.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:01:43]:

So we're just kind of walk through.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:01:45]:

This conversation today since you've said yours, but I don't know much about it. But when, like, how long have you struggled with that?

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Ashlie Marshall [00:01:57]:

I was struggling with it in college, and I did not know it until after college. I actually had a chiropractor that I had been seeing post high school, and he was also a functional medicine doctor. He practiced functional medicine. And I know some people have opinions about functional medicine and the natural side of life and, you know, different opinions, which is all fine and good, but in my experience, I have had much more success in managing my condition with functional medicine than I have with any other type of medicine. But over a decade, for certain, I really started making changes to my, like, diet and lifestyle around 2010. That was really when I made a big shift, and it was hard.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:02:56]:

There was a lot of trial and error with figuring out what helped you.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:03:02]:

Yeah, there was. There was a good period of trial and error, which I think is the frustrating part about it because you're like, okay, I'm going to do this. And I might see this side effect from it or I might see this improvement from it, and then you have to experience it, and then you have to try something else or keep going and add in a piece to it. So it can be very frustrating. But at the time that I was discovering it and that I was trying to make a change to help myself, I didn't really have a whole lot of support at the time, and I wasn't really sharing anything with my family. I was in a relationship with someone, and that someone was not a good someone. And so it was even more hard to make the change, stick to the change, do those things consistently in order to see those improvements. So that was definitely difficult.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:03:57]:

What about you? How long? I mean, I think we kind of have an idea, but walk us through that again, like when you've officially got diagnosed, but how long it took to get there?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:04:06]:

Well, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis when I was 15, and then I just kept getting persuaded medicine for that, and it wasn't working. And I think it took, like, nearly ten years to get the correct diagnosis of Crohn's with my doctor now. But I've had symptoms like it pretty much onset at age 15, so I've had it half of my life now.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:04:39]:

Yeah. How do you feel in terms of that journey that you went through? Like, obviously, we know you got very, very bad before you actually got help and actually got diagnosed and actually got the right plan of action in place. Do you feel like you've seen improvements in your health in some ways and then not in others?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:05:05]:

Yeah, yeah, I've. I mean, it's like, there's pros and cons. Like, if you choose this option, you're gonna have to take some of, like, the cons with it, but, yeah, like, I feel like my quality of life has improved, but it's nothing as good as a normal person. I would get. I would say.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:05:31]:

Yeah. Do you or your team of doctors, do you feel like there's a point at which you could get close to that, or is this kind of. It is what it is?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:05:44]:

Yeah, I think. I think so. But it's just, you know, my doctor so realistic with me, and, like, you have an incurable illness, and it's better that you have it now than years and years ago when they didn't have better medicines to treat it. And yes, you're suffering, but there's new medications coming out, so it's just, you kind of take it day by day. Honestly, you never know what comes with having a chronic illness.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:06:17]:

Every day isn't. There's a new challenge every day, despite. Because I feel like yours have been very physical. Like, they've affected you incredibly physically, but you and I have never really talked about how it affects you mentally. Right. My condition really does affect me more. It affects me physically in terms of, like, exhaustion and lack of energy and, like, lethargy and unable to get up some days and unable to find the energy to actually stand up out of the bed, but more so, my cloudy brain is really what? And I have that. I feel like that's why I have become so overly organized, because if I'm not, then I will lose stuff, I will forget stuff, major things won't get paid, you know, stuff like that.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:07:08]:

So my processes at work have become very fine tuned and very intricate so that my physical ailments don't affect that. What have you found that, like, helps you?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:07:24]:

I mean, intermittent fasting, for sure. And mentally? I mean, I go to therapy because with illness, like, and especially having one where it's like no one would ever know you're sick unless you tell them, then it's just hard sometimes because, like, there's. And I feel like there's no point in complaining or talking to most people about it because they'll never truly understand what you're going through, mentally or physically. So that's kind of been my view of it. And then I just let it all out in therapy. And then physically, to help, I do intermittent fasting all. I try to limit sugar and gluten to every other day, and. Yeah, it's just.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:08:23]:

You just learn things along the way, I guess, because everyone's disease is so different that one thing might help someone with Crohn's, but it might not help another person with it. And so you just learn, like, what actually will help you, and you just rack up those tools along the ears, I guess.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:08:45]:

Have you gotten. I'm pretty certain I know the answer to this question, but have you gotten people being like, I just suck it up, like, from anyone?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:08:57]:

No, not really. No. Because I just don't really make it a point to tell people, I guess.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:09:04]:

You don't share it with everybody and.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:09:07]:

Yeah. And the reason for that now is because in high school, no one believed me ever. They thought I had an eating disorder, and they thought I was being dramatic, just complaining that my stomach hurt. A and so, like, after, like, I got, like, I was hearing that frequently, then I just stopped telling anyone, like, how I was feeling or what I actually have, and I just stopped.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:09:38]:

Yeah. How. What. What things have you done to stay positive? Because, I mean, or maybe positive isn't the word. Maybe it's more so just like, it's this or die.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:09:55]:

Yeah. Just realistic about it. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, people are like, oh, how do you stay positive? It's like, I mean, I feel like being negative takes more energy, and I already have very little energy, and so it's like, I have it regardless. And so I'm just like, I just. Because people will be like, oh, I could never live like that. Or if I had to go to the doctor for that, I would just die instead.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:10:23]:

I'm like, well, you can't say that until you actually have it. And, like, I would like to live. And, like, you're just a normal person complaining about a headache.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:10:35]:

I've heard that multiple times. Oh, if I had to do that, I wouldn't survive. That would be terrible. And, I mean, I kind of. It's like what you said, you're like, well, this is just my reality. Like, I either do this or I feel like shit or I am in the hospital. Like, it's one or the other. Like, I don't want to feel crappy.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:10:54]:

I don't want to have pain. I don't want to be exhausted and can't think straight through my thoughts. So I'm going to do these things to help myself, and this is what I'm doing to help myself. So I can definitely relate to that. Was there. I can't think of one, so I want to hear yours. Was there a moment in the past? I'm going to go five years, five or six years, where you felt truly empowered despite your chronic illness or, like, because of your chronic illness, you felt like, manda, I'm kicking ass. Like, I'm doing really well, I would say.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:11:38]:

Yeah, probably. When I wrote the article for Goodrx, like, I thought that was such a cool moment.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:11:44]:

That was an awesome moment. I loved that article.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:11:48]:

It was just very natural. Like, I did use them, and, like, being able to, like, share something and it be, like, shared on their platform was really cool.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:11:57]:

I loved that article. I felt like that was right after your surgery.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:12:02]:

Mm hmm.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:12:03]:

Yeah. Well, one of your very many surgeries.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:12:07]:

Yeah, the big one.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:12:09]:

The big one. But I feel like that surgery has given you the most of your life back.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:12:16]:

In terms of quality of life, I definitely think so. I mean, it's just like, I don't think. I mean, I do think I need one more, but it was a really good step.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:12:30]:

Yeah, it was. It was heading in the right direction. Fortunately, I haven't had to have any surgeries. But the struggle for me is definitely if I'm not paying attention to my body and I'm not paying attention to every single little thing that I feel or that I'm experiencing, I have to create a pattern. I have to be able to create a pattern. I haven't started journaling it yet, but I've been highly advised to. I make notes of it in an app on my phone, but every little thing lays as a piece of evidence, I guess you could call it. And so even to the point of, oh, I woke up and my skin feels itchy in certain areas, like nothing's changed with the products that I use or how I wash myself.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:13:31]:

So it's random, right, but it's a piece to a puzzle. And so different things like that I have to keep, like, high notes of and share with my doctor so that we can walk through that. And, like, the past two weeks, I've been on a very strict diet called the lion's diet. And it has been awful and I hate it. But if I want to get to the other side where, okay, I can find an area of grace where, okay, I'm allowed to, I can actually enjoy these things in this setting and then revert back to less of that and live in these phases and these periods of what I'm putting in my body. And I'm more cognizant of it, which I thought that I was really cognizant of it, but clearly I was not then, you know, I can create a better quality of life for myself, so I'm going to do that.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:14:37]:

Do you feel like it's hard to stay positive sometimes?

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Ashlie Marshall [00:14:43]:

I don't know if it's hard to stay positive, but it's hard to not be, feel frustrated. I think for me, the frustration is surrounding my work because I'm able to, like, look back at past jobs and see where I. Oh, my gosh, I was so on top of it then. Like, I was able to do all these things and I had such a great checklist, and I was able to accomplish all the things on my checklist.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:15:12]:

Yeah.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:15:13]:

And I can't do that anymore. I can't stay focused for long periods of time. Like, my brain needs these breaks from the computer because if I keep looking at it, I just start scrolling through screens and I don't know what I'm doing. And then I'm all over the place and I start rambling like that. But there's so many other things that go into that, too. Like the work environment that I was in. I was in an office with adults who didn't talk to me, and I was able to be left alone and work by myself. And now I'm not in that environment.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:15:39]:

I'm in an office in my house with my two small children who want my attention every 30 seconds. And I'm very. My attention is very divided, so that also plays a part in it. But the. But the brain, I have seen, like, significant periods of what they call foggy brain, and it's literally like there's clouds in your brain, and you can't focus on any one thing. And if you get focused on something, the minute you look away from it, it's gone. And you can't recall what path you were on. You can't recall the.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:16:16]:

The plan you were putting together in your head and how the pieces were fitting so perfectly to solve this problem. And then you get distracted for 30 seconds and you can't get back to it. That is where I have experienced the most frustration, because I'm like, I was on such a good path, and now I can't. I don't know. And so I've resorted back to taking really detailed notes of my thoughts and work, and I have this notebook that's damn near empty now because it's, like, random things. And if somebody were to pick up my notebook and look at it, they would have no idea what I'm like, oh, she needs help. But it really does help me to get back to where I was and where my thought process was. And so until I can clear my clouds completely, which I'm not even sure can happen, I'm going to be taking detailed notes of all my thoughts, which is why journaling for my symptoms would actually be a really good thing.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:17:11]:

And I also think that it would help with the memory issues that I've experienced over the last ten years. And I can tell you there are times where my memory is crystal. I can remember everything for, like, a period of time, and then all of a sudden, I can't remember what we talked about ten minutes ago. Yeah, like you. And I'll ask you a question in a meeting. You've seen me do it. I'll ask you a question, and then you'll answer me. And I'll say, whitney, I know I asked you this.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:17:38]:

I don't remember your answer. Please tell me again. And you're so patient with me now, it's fine. But it is. It's. It's frustrating. So I guess I'm not. I'm not unable to be positive because in those frustrating moments, sometimes I'm just like, I'm gonna walk away.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:17:56]:

I'll get up. I'll walk. Yeah, I'll go play barbies with my five year old for 5 seconds, and then I'll come back and take a breath, and then I won't feel frustrated. So the frustration comes, but then I. I have found methods to flush it, I guess you could say. Find your methods.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:18:17]:

Yeah, definitely.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:18:22]:

I've been asked a lot of times about balancing. How are you able to balance?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:18:29]:

You don't.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:18:30]:

You don't?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:18:31]:

No, that's right. You have only so much energy in a day, and you have to choose where you want to spend it. And then something is always going to get left out a little bit. So you just choose each day what can take a little bit of a hit, I guess. And it's usually self care. And, like, you know, actually taking care of yourself because you have to be parent and do a good job at work and take care of animals and whatnot. And so your health will suffer or your social life or whatever, but something will suffer.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:19:18]:

That's true. When you talk about self care, I feel like that looks different for everybody. So what are some things that you, like, put in the category of, like, self care?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:19:30]:

Like my health, I would say health. And, like, not eating all day or not taking one drink of water for, like, several days. Like, it's. Those kind of things will get pushed to the side. Yeah, that's.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:19:52]:

I've seen you do that. I've seen you walk through those phases. For me, self care is staying dedicated to the plan. Like this awful, horrible diet that I'm on. And it sucks. Even though it sucks, just stay the course, right? Just stay the course and be committed. And then little things, like, you know, am I supposed to be enjoying plain black iced coffee on it? No. But in a conversation with my doctor, you know, sometimes, like, your mentality, how are you able to grit through something? Right? What is the.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:20:43]:

He asked me, what's the one thing that you think will be the hardest for you to not consume during this period of time? And I was like, honestly, probably just a little bit of coffee every day. And I was like, not because I'm tired, but just because I enjoy it. And I will go, like, it'll drive me mad. Like, I already can't have anything else. Like, nothing. So I was like. And so he was like, okay, limit yourself. You know, instead of a cup, have half a cup, you know, or just small sips and sittings and so that's what I've done to kind of survive it, and it has helped.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:21:17]:

So finding those things that no matter how minuscule it seems, getting your nails done. I mean, I go get my nails done, and that's kind of like part of my self care, because I like having my nails done. You and I have talked about that before, but, yeah. There is no balance between managing if you have an illness or if you don't. Like, if it's just parenthood and friendships and work. Like, everything has to jive in harmony. And so some days you're gonna kill it at work, and some days you're gonna kill it at parenting. Some days those things will happen on the same day, and sometimes they won't.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:22:00]:

And it's like, be okay with that.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:22:04]:

Yeah. Yeah. I think illness teaches you discipline, and it also teaches you what your priorities are.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:22:16]:

Man, two big words. Discipline. I would agree with that. I feel like I have become a much more disciplined individual because I had to. And then prioritizing, man, that's huge. I feel like you and I learned that the hard way the last five years.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:22:38]:

Sure.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:22:41]:

Prioritizing everything.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:22:45]:

I know. It's crazy.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:22:47]:

It is crazy. So, to be a bit more on the uplifting side, do you feel your perspective on life in general is better than most other people who don't live with chronic illness?

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Whitney Ramirez [00:23:07]:

I'd say so. I feel like it makes me a more grateful person.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:23:16]:

Yeah.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:23:17]:

Maybe a more self aware person than most.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:23:21]:

Yeah, I would agree with that.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:23:23]:

Yeah, I would agree with that. What about you?

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Ashlie Marshall [00:23:26]:

Yeah, I think that, you know, the things you work the hardest for are the things you're most appreciative of. So working hard for my health makes me appreciate small wins and push through the losses and just get more gritty, I guess.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:23:50]:

Yeah.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:23:51]:

Okay, that didn't work. Scrap it. Let's start over. Like, being able to have that attitude and not just about, like, your health, but about everything that you're doing, you know, not so that I feel like that's part of the reason why we've been able to persevere through the situations we've been in, because it's like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let's scrap that and start over. And we're not afraid to do that. Like, we're not afraid to say, all right, fuck it, we're gonna try something else. Like, yeah, I, um.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:24:22]:

So I feel like we kind of are winning in that department.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:24:25]:

I would say so.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:24:36]:

Hey, man. Okay, y'all. Well, this was our little real life update. And, um, if you are dealing with chronic illness, share with us. Share with us your answers to these questions we asked each other and let us know what gets you through and how you feel that your perspective on life has improved over the years dealing with your chronic illness. We really appreciate y'all listening to us ramble today about life. And if you like this episode, please, please, please leave us a review and share with your friends. Share this episode with somebody else who you think could use hearing some uplifting information.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:25:22]:

You can do it no matter what you're going through.

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Whitney Ramirez [00:25:26]:

Thanks, y'all.

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Ashlie Marshall [00:25:27]:

Bye, y'all. Bye.

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